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need advice on boyfriend and his habits

User-anonymous
Posted by: Anonymous
Flag
Sat 7, Jan 2017 at 4:44am
Categories:
Friends & Family, Getting on Better with my Partner, Bringing up Children Together, Mixed Families, Communications in relationships, A Psychologist's Perspective

I need advice on the relationship I have with my boyfriend of 1.5 yrs. I have a daughter from a previous relationship, she is 7 yrs old and he has a daughter from a previous relationship, she is 2.5 yrs old. We also have 4 month old baby together. Our relationship has always been rocky but alot of problems rise cause I feel like he treats his two year old different from my child and the child we share. He gives in to her for everything and refuses to teach her anything. Since she doesn't live with us he wants to make it the fun house yet he critizes my ex when he lets my 7 yr old do whatever she wants. We have a small apartment and he will make a lot of noise with the two year at like 11pm at night while the baby is sleeping. (She refuses to fall asleep in our house but my kids go to sleep at 8:30pm). I told him multiple occasions that he needs to be quiet and teach his two year old to have low voices at night cause the baby is sleeping. I even told him that he would have to put the baby back to sleep if she wakes her up and he responds that I would have to do it since he is with the two year old. It isnt fair. I have two kids full time and I dont select parent. How do I handle this situation? I am at my wits end and have no clue how to deal with him. He constantly tells me that I am being a b**ch but ive been through the whole two year old stage. If he doesn't set ground rules now it will get worse. And it upsets me that he is basically disrespting my 7 yr old and OUR baby that are both sleeping cause I put them to bed at a decent time. A 2 yr old shouldnt be up at 11pm but there is nothing I can do since that is what they do in their household.

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Comments

  • Cc jaybee (moderator) Flag

    I think it is generally acknowledged that couples coming together with children from previous relationships can present a lot of challenges and it seems like this is what you are up against here - a clash of 'cultures' over how to be a parent. Is this a bit of rivalry about who's a better parent? Might he feel challenged by you being a 'more experienced' parent? (I know that may not be how you feel!)
    Here's a link to an article on this site about parenting together:
    http://thecoupleconnection.net/relationship-advice/categories/bringing-up-children-together

    Sun 15, Jan 2017 at 12:42pm

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