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My boyfriend says he's lost his 'flame' for me...
Sorry, this may be a blathering and long post, but i'd like someone to weigh in and reply to me.
Most of my friends aren't in relationships and never have been in one, so sometimes their opinions can be biased. They don't see/hear what goes on, so how can they judge or give advice?
I am a 29 year old black female, in a 2 1/2 year long relationship, with a 26 year old white male. This past April we became domestic partners, signed and legal. We decided this mostly for health reasons. But at the time our relationship was good.
Since then I have been therapy, dealing with personal issues. I also have quite a sex drive and this sometimes causes us to fight and bicker immaturely with each other. He says he is constantly worried he isn't enough for me, But he is ALL I think about! I don't have many guy friends and the one's I do have are all married or dating. No attraction. Recently we got into a fight about our future and where we both see our relationship two years from now...
Started off innocently enough and basically turned into a screaming, crying, blame game! I was horrified by some of the things he was holding in. He no problem being frank and honest. So, really my question is...
Why do men hold so much anger inside until its turned to resentment?
Then he proceeds to tell me that the reason he isn't affectionate with me anymore is because he's lost his FLAME for me.
How am I supposed to feel/act/ when he say's things like this to me? Should we break up or what?
He is my first long term relationship and I genuinely feel we are made for each other. We want the same things in life and yet he makes everything so difficult for me all the time. I want to trust him, but I find myself doubting if he really loves me. How am I supposed to hug him, say 'I love you' or even sleep next to him knowing he's LOST HIS FLAME????
Comments
You sound really upset that he has lost his 'flame' for you. There are lots of us on the site in the same boat - usually starting the post with 'my boyfriend doesn't initiate or want sex'. It might be worth having a look at these posts and see if you can find any words of wisdom to help you through this patch.
I know that sex is only part of the problem, but it's difficult to stay feeling connected when you don't feel as though he finds you attractive any more. There's an article on the site which might be of help see under '/articles/my-partner-doesnt-want-to-have-sex-any-more-help'. It's a good place to start and you can browse around from there.
I hope it works out for you, and please let us know how it goes.