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is it me???
my husband and I are both retired but live on a lifestyle block which keeps us both busy Lately my husband never seems to be home, spending every night 7/7 and a lot of the daytime with his mates at the pub. He has suffered from depression in the past and in some ways I am pleased he is now getting out and about,I just wish it was with me! It is very seldom we go out together unless I insist. I have tried talking to him about it, and he says he understands, but continues the same way. We are good friends and love each other, I try to keep myself as attractive as I possibly can.Am I expecting too much.
Comments
Dear sarahjane,
I'm not quite sure what to suggest to change things - I just wanted you to know that I feel for you.You sound as though you're feeling rejected and a bit lonely at a time when you thought you'd enjoy spending time together following his retirement.
It's the other way round in our house - I seem to be out and about much of the time doing stuff, and generally keeping busy. I know my husband sometimes resents my 'busyness', especially since he retired (and has more time to notice it!). It's not that I don't enjoy his company and being with him, I just get involved with other stuff. So, thank you for reminding me that maybe I need to change my behaviour to include my husband in what I'm doing at least some of the time.
Thinking about you - I wonder if there are there any things you could start/continue doing that he might like to join you with - Ramblers, dancing, an evening class, bowls etc.? Something so enticing that he won't be able to resist wanting to spend more time with you. It sounds as though he's got out of the habit of finding you good company and forgotten that you used to have fun together. Also, if you got more involved with something you might have more to share with each other when you are together.
There's stuff on the site too. It's worth looking at the 'getting on better' articles - you might find the inspiration you're looking for. I do hope it works out for you.
Hi- thanks so much for that, I think you're right that going out is a habit he's"forgotten" about, I think I'll drag out old photos to show him what we're missing, Your suggestions were very helpful, its so easy for "the other half" to start feeling neglected.