Home-wrecking.
Okay, so i have been in a relationship with someone for three years now who i love very deeply but recently (about a year ago) i recieved a new job and started meeting new people. I Really enjoy my boyfriend and love him, but more as a best friend than a boyfriend/husband. At work i've mad many friends from the start and about five months ago i started talking intimatly with one of my bosses. He is married, with a small baby at home who i love to see and babysit, and he has always come to me when ever he needs help or advice or just a friend. Lately he has been talking about leaving his wife due to their constant fighting and he says he isn't happy anymore and he married her for the wrong reasons. For about two months i have been trying to help him fix his marriage to no avail, and he still wants to go threw with it. He has also made it clear that he has intrests in me outside of work and wants to see if we could have a relationship. I've told him that after he gets a divorce we can talk about it, but it till then its not even open for disscussion, to which he agreed. I've still been advising him to try counseling and other options to save his marriage and nothing is working,and ill admit i kindve want him to get a divorce for my own selfish reasons, (im not a fan of his wife) but i feel like even thinking that way makes me a homewrecker and i ABSOLUTELY do not want that label, or to play anypart in ending their marriage or my relationship on bad terms. Do you guys have any advice on what i should do?
Comments
I agree you should stay well out of it, it is very normal for a couple to go through a difficult stage when they have a new baby, and the last thing their marriage needs is you "helping" by encouraging him to look elsewhere! Stand back from him at work and maybe suggest that they both go for counselling to talk things through properly, Marriage Care and Relate are both good. Let us know whether you are able to detach yourself from this situation that is so hard for him and his wife.
I think you should give him a wide berth. When a woman has a baby, it is known that this can cause difficulties in a relationship as things change. However, things do settle down again. However, it is often at this point that the husband can wander for a little light relief as the wife is not providing due to the baby. Many men will tell other woman, my wife doesn't understand me, things have gone all wrong etc etc. What you need to remember is that not that long ago, there relationship was fine as they were having a baby and had to make that! I think you're being around him is causing the problem and whether you're a fan of his wife or not, the fact is he is spoken for. I doubt very much he intends to leave his wife and his little baby! Of course I know not all men are alike, but why on earth did you feel you could fix his marriage? Why do you babysit, knowing you have feelings for him. He's probably made it clear that he has interests in you outside of work as he would like a fling with you. If he married his wife for the wrong reasons, why did he stay? Why did he go on to have a child with her? My guess is, this man has no intention of leaving his wife or he would have already done so. This seems like most other cases, you fancy him, he wouldn't mind a bit on the side so he tells you the bla bla bla. Do yourself a favour and get out of this situation before you really get hurt.