Welcome!
Use the menu on the left to navigate the site, you might find some interesting advice in the Relationship Forum
Or why not explore the the Relationship advice section
Helpless...
I really don't know what to do, I've been with my girlfriend for almost 2 and a half years and I would do absolutely anything for her. I put her thoughts and feelings and circumstances before even my own. I don't ask for gratitude or anything I do it out of the kindness of my heart and my love for her. I have lost almost everyone I know as a result of her controlling and abuse that she puts me through. I got rid of facebook for over a year, changed my number countless time unnecessarily because she thought people she doesn't like might have it. she has a real grudge against people I know, I'm a very good judge of character and my friends were amazing to me for all the years I knew them, but one by one the choice had to be made....her or them.
My family friends are closer to me and my parents than even my own family is but she hates them.....for no reason. she doesn't even want to meet them and because of the anger and hatred she gives me, i know refuse to go there. not going to visit them is a better option because i don't have to suffer with calls and texts which is just sheer abuse.
I tried talking to her about the way she talks to me and treats me but she never seems to take it in and understand my point of view. its her way or the highway.
I made the silly mistake 2 years ago by getting a number of a girl i used to work near, I didn't do it for my benefit but it was to get my girlfriend a chance to work for an amazing company. my girlfriend assumes i got the number to chat that girl up and see her whilst i was working. i could never do anything as stupid as to cheat on her, I can't even see myself with anyone else but her because she truely is amazing when shes normal and ok with me. but i'm helpless with noone to talk to, she doesn't trust me even though i would do anything for her and try everything to get her to trust me. she gets very angry and says the worst things when she is....'i'm going to find someone else...your worthless...ur nothing...i don't love you...i'm going to f*** your life up' thats just a few of the things she says.
I want this girl.....after 2 and a half years of hard hard work where I've chosen her over my career i really cannot lose her...what a defeat personally of my ego and confidence it would be if i did.
I just don't know what to do because she cannot let go of a past mistake from over 2 years ago and won't see how much ive done since then to make her happy and make everything work.
what do i do?
Comments
Firstly you may be doing far to much for your girlfriend on a co dependant level I say this as you say also about it being a defeat if you fail at this relationship... It also sounds that when there is a problem and you are arguing there is a cycle of negativity going on. This can be resolved by constructively discussing things when the time is happy rather than trying to hammer it out when everyone is in a bad mood.
So it sounds to me like your girlfriend is very insecure and so in turn exhibiting controlling behaviour... getting you to choose friends over her is quite significant if its just through her dislike of them and there is no reason for it like for example if she was offended by something they did or said and it was justified and you failed to support her... now I am not saying she has to like all of your friends but out of respect for you in a normal relationship if there is a friend of my boyfriends that I really cant stand or vice versa then a compromise is reached eg. I will be genial when we see him/her but the compromise is that we dont see them everyweekend... and he is free to see him/her whenever he wants, but that doesn't necessarily mean to say that I have to be there and if I choose not to I don't have to see her at all. The fact you have had to choose whether you see or speak to them ever again is worrying.
I wonder if there is a little bit more to this story that hasn't been said? I don't want you to take offensive but I just notice you haven't said anything about what your girlfriend has said about this other than swearing and cursing at you? Is that all she has said about it?