Help!
Hi, I'm looking for advice.. I find it hard to speak to people about these issues so I'm thinking this is the best way to do it. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 8 years and realised my love for him started to weaken about one year ago, but within the past two weeks all feelings have suddenly gone. I still love him to bits but just not in love with him, the thing is I really didn't want it to end up like this which is the most frustrating thing about it! Another massive problem I have is this fear he will do something silly to himself as he seems to think that he has nobody but me, I know I shouldn't be thinking like that but his mum actually mentioned that as well... How do I convince a guy that he ain't worthless? I wish I could find someone to give him what I can't. Do I carry on with the relationship and go on being un-happy or do I end it and go on with fear of losing him completely? Will my feelings come back? Any advice would be highly appreciated, thanks.
Comments
It sounds as though you're in a bit of a quandary and could do with some help to sort out just what your feelings are about this relationship. Staying together because he might harm himself if you don't, is not the best reaason for staying together! It also sounds a bit like emotional blackmail to me - which may not even be at a conscious level, but is very effective.
Going to a counsellor, hopefully together but if not then on your own, would help you to see what's going on for you both, and help you to see what you'd like for the future. Sometimes you can find the spark again (see some of the stuff on the site about 'getting on better', it really helped us) and sometimes it just doesn't work at all. Talking through with a counsellor might help you to see which option you'd prefer and what's best for you in your situation. There's www.relate.org.uk or www.marriagecare.org.uk. I hope it works out for you and that you find enough space to be able to decide what you want without feeling pressured by your bf.
Hi
Have you read Andrew Marshall's book 'I love you but I'm not in love with you?' It might be helpful