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Ex-issues Causing Confidence/performance Problems
I've been married to my wife for a little over a year after dating for about 2. Both of us were fairly limited in our sexual conquests prior to meeting each other (she had been with one other guy, I with two other girls; all in serious long term relationshpis) and our sex life has been nothing short of fantastic.
Recently, however, the two of us had a few drinks together to celebrate moving into a new city and some stories were shared about past loves. I have always subscribed to the "less history, more mystery" mantra in relationships (meaning I don't ask and don't have to know) but through a tangentially related story coupled with the indiscretion caused by alcohol she let slip the previsouly unknown fact that her only other lover had been extremely well-endowed. As she put it, she was "shocked" at his size. The statement was not made with the intent of any unfavorable comparioson towards me, and she immediately caught herself trying to recover the story and explaining that the sex is much better with me, but I was and am pretty rattled. I would say I am average downstairs but have never had any problems with confidence in the bedroom; but after her recent disclosure I have had serious performance isses and I feel uncomfortable being naked in front of her. Even if it truly doesn't matter to her in the least it has had an effect on me.
Obviously we can't change the past and I can't forget the fact, but I need to get past this in my own mind and get my "mojo" back so to speak. Any advice?
Comments
What is it about comparison nowadays! We compare everything insurance, supermarket prices and car/penis/ego size.
From a woman's prespective you need to remember that for a woman making love to your partner is about the whole emotional experience and not about the size of your bf's equipment. Its about what you do with what you have and from what your gf says she is experiencing sex with you in an entirely different way and this you should accept as a loving compliment and a boost to your confidence.
I hope this helps and remember when you have conversations under the influence on alcohol stuff will come out that you miss you hadn't said - I read an interesting quote just recently "Never pass up the opportunity to keep your mouth shut" if only we all kept this mantra in the front of our minds perhaps we would all be kinder, supportive and loving of each other.
Take care and use this forum for help and support - let us know how you get on from an aged flower child and Cosmo reader