Can i ever trust him again
Hi, I have been married for 10 years, together for 18 and we have 4 lovely children, I'm 34 and my husband is 38. We are usually a fairly normal happy couple/family, however my husband has got an issue with having recurring sneaky phones.
I have found 3 in total, the most recent being on monday. The previous 2 he told me they were old phones that a mate at work had given him, which i do not believe. Needless to say that after finding these 2 phones, my love, trust, everything i felt for him, has now gone down hill, so much so that we don't have sex and we just live like 2 housemates.
Because i really wanted my marriage to work i asked him 1 month ago, to make an effort, because i knew we couldn't carry on the way we were going and if there was no improvement in the relationship then we might as well call it a day (this was a bluff - i never want my marriage to end, but i really needed him to realise what was at stake here) He half heartedly agreed saying that i was overreacting and that alot of our pressures were down to money issues and the fact that he works alot to try and resolve this matter.
So 3/4 weeks have gone by, during that time we celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary then on Monday of this week my world crumbled because i found yet another mobile phone with messages to another woman. I freaked big time and attacked him, because i could not believe he was doing this, even more so when i had pleaded with him to give our marriage a real chance.
So now all hell has broken loose, my family know, his family know and a handful of friends, all of whom are telling me just to end it (apart from his family of course because they can't seem to see what the big fuss is!)
Of course he has begged me to forgive him saying that he has never had an affair and all he ever wanted was abit of affection from these texts because i don't give him any (which is true only because of the phones i have found on him in the past)
Before the discovery of this 3rd phone i was really beginning to see a bright future for us as we were getting on better.
We're due to go abroad in 2 weeks with my family, obviously he isn't coming now because my family are so disappointed in him.
I cannot get past the fact that he is only sorry because he got caught out. If i hadn't found that phone he would still be texting this scutbag.
He even had the cheek to visit a solicitor and find out his rights, as tho he is the victim in all this. He threatened that if i take the children on holiday then he will have me arrested!!! I cannot believe his behaviour, surely he should be kissin my a**
He later apologised for this, but still he had the cheek to say it, talk about going the wrong way about things.
He has held his hands up and said 'yeah ive got abit of a problem, but if we could get back on track then i wouldn't have the need to text these women'
I have agreed that if he arranges marriage counselling then i will go, but i am afraid that he will say anything not to lose me and will not change, although of course i wished that he could.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated i feel as though im going to crack up!
Thank you x