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Boyfreind caught masturbating in bed while I'm asleep

User-anonymous
Posted by: Keira
Flag
Mon 23, May 2011 at 11:40am
Categories:
Sex/Intimacy and romance

Hi new to this! But just wondering. Iv been with my boyfreind for
6months now and we live in our own flat. Everythings great etc and Yesterday we had sex during The day, and I fell asleep in bed cuddled up to my boyfriend about 1am this morning. About an hour later I was only half asleep but he thot I was completely asleep, he moved away from me and do I could tell he was flicking thru the xxx channels like babestation. I pretended to sleep but Then he started wanking to it, I left it for 5 mins but just got angry about it and woke up saying go to the living room. Then refused to say anything else, he sed sorry and went to sleep. Was wondering shud I of been angry at this? Cuz I am but I don't know why! Think I feel not as hot as those girls on tv or sumfin. I know he'd be annoyed if I did it.
I no everyone masturbates etc I do to porn and he does etc just the fact I don't want to see the actual girls that does it for him.. If that makes sence,

After writing this out I do feel stupid now! So silly . But I feel sick thinking bout him wanking to those girls... I never woke him this morning so we havnt spoken about it. How shud I deal with it? Or like seriously am I being stupid lol xxxx

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Comments

  • User-anonymous Anonymous Flag

    Its good that you feel able to talk it out  here and sometimes when we write stuff out it can make us feel silly but it is obviously causing you some concern.  As you have had a little time to think about it you may find you have a different prespective.  You recognise that everyone masturbates and that sounds like a good place to start when discussing this with your boyfriend.  Let him know how you feel about this particular situation and perhaps he will get a different understanding of your feelings.  It sounds like to need to talk to each other but you're not sure how he will respond.  I don't think your being stupid but sense you need to talk - so when you feel able, spend some time talking and let him know how this ocassion has made you feel.  Take care and let us know how you get on.

    Tue 24, May 2011 at 2:54pm
  • User-anonymous Anonymous Flag

    No dont feel silly at all, i would of been very angry too! i know its natural to masturabate but i dont agree with doing it over other girls!! i would of proberbly chucked the tv at him!!!!!! the best thing to do is ask him "am i not as good as them girls then?" "do i not do it enough for you?" and find out how he feels about it! if hes any decient enough man he will relise how dis respectable he has been to you! make sure you tell him how disrespectful that was to do that!!!!
    good luck and take care xx

    Mon 30, May 2011 at 8:44am
  • User-anonymous Anonymous Flag

    You shouldn't feel silly, everyone masturbates but not everyone does it after sex or while the other person is in the room. Best thing do is find out why he did it at that moment, I think it's a considerably important thing to understand why he felt the need to masturbate straight after sex, while you were there. Once you ask him, and get him to honestly tell you what's going on with him then you can tackle this properly and express your feelings.

    Sun 20, Nov 2011 at 9:40pm
  • Mermaid MikeNessMonster Flag

    You're not being silly, but you do need to be reasonable with him. Frankly, if I woke up to my boyfriend masturbating to a porno I would laugh, but I understand why you would feel jealous. Maybe try to do something extra special and exciting for him in the bedroom soon. It will make you feel sexy and he'll be excited and realize youre WAAY better than some porn. :)

    Fri 25, Nov 2011 at 12:37am
  • User-anonymous sunnybear Flag

    I would be so pissed! LOL. I have told my bf as long as I'm around I don't think you need to masturbate because if he has the urge even when I'm asleep I would want him to wake me. I don't mind doing for my bf because I love him AND if I was to masturbate it is always over him when he is at work. Guys are not made like that and that bothers me...because when I go to visit my mom in another state, he lies to me about masturbating and he always looks at porn which makes me feel insecure. If I pretend I'm going to...he says "you better not!" guys are very double standard. You're not silly..when you care about someone you don't want them to be attracted to anyone else. As far as a solution I fon't know, because I would just be pissy & make it worse by getting all insecure!

    Thu 22, Dec 2011 at 5:09am
  • User-anonymous Anonymous Flag

    Hi Keira, don't feel bad for 'feeling', if it made you feel angry, then it made you feel angry and that's ok. However communicating when you're angry is not the best idea. I'm not sure if it makes you feel any better but A LOT of men masturbate when their girlfriends are in bed 'asleep' and a lot of people masturbate to porn. Most people, men or women don't even notice the faces on the people in porn movies the eyes are in one place and I'm sure I don't need to tell you where;). I'm a female and I masturbate to porn, it's not because I think the men are more attractive than my partner in my eyes no one is, but it's what works for me.
    Don't take the fact that he was masturbating to porn as an insult to you. Maybe he was still feeling horny but he didn't want to wake you. When you look at it this way it's really very sweet.
    It shocks me to think that men don't realise the shaking movement of them wanking will wake us up, maybe it's the naughty-ness that turns them on, the risk of being caught or maybe they just can't sleep. Who knows but don't think for one second that it's anything to do with you. You don't need to ask your BF 'am i not as good as them girls then'. It really won't be about that. Like you said masturbation is natural most people do it and do it A LOT, just maybe your BF didn't pick the best place to do it.
    Speak to your boyfrind in a calm manner if you don't have a problem with him masturbating then tell him. Say you found it disrespectful that he was masturbating while you were in the bed next to him and it hurt that he was looking at porn.
    Maybe you can reach a compromise watch porn and masturbate together or agree that if he wants to watch porn and masturbate then he'll do it in a different room or when you're not at home. Find a way that works for you both.

    Mon 16, Jan 2012 at 4:12pm

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