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Am I just insecure or is she cheating?
I've been married to my wife for 6 years and we have 2 wonderful sons. Over the last couple of months she has been very distant and has not let her phone out of her sight (constantly on Facebook or text). We hardly speak anymore and have had sex only a few times in the last couple of months. My suspicions first started when she started adding men to Facebook at 3am after a night out (when she hasn't "stayed at a mates house" overnight a couple of times). I have asked her about always being on her phone bit she says that I am just being paranoid and insecure. I don't think I am and think there is someone else.
Could you give me your thoughts?
Comments
Everyone would probably say the same thing, but I think it is important that you talk to your wife and tell her how you feel, but without being confrontational. I always think that sitting down and talking and sharing your feelings with eachother is the best way to start to understand each other so this is what I would do if I was in your situation. As you said that you hardly talk anymore, I think it is important to deal with that issue first and spend some time together where you do have a chance to talk properly about things.
It might be hard to bring up your issues of suspicion without seeming confrontational and accusatory, but I think it is about sitting down as two adults and you telling her that you have been feeling suspicious and insecure and that you want her to help you to stop feeling this way and to support and reassure you, and yes, you want her to tell you the truth if there is anything untoward going on. We all need a little reassurance every now and again, not matter how solid our relationship. Maybe you can spend an evening together alone, go for a meal or cook a meal at home, or even book a hotel for the night and order room service so that you are doing something together and you have the time and speace to talk properly, so that its not all about 'who's your new friend on facebook' or 'who are you texting now'...I think that it should be more about remembering that you are a couple who are there to love and support each other and to do that you need to communicate with each other on the level that is right for you both.
I guess from this then you can gauge her reaction and hopefully get some reassurance and/or the truth, if in fact there is anything going on.
I hope this is helpful, or at least was worth reading, this is my first post :)
Anonnie x
As the previous comment you need to talk and listen to eachother. We are all guilty of not talking or listening to the other when we get comfortable in the relationship and that's when things start going wrong. It is hard to sit down with someone and say I am worried about our relationship and that you have concerns about what she is doing on FB but, I really think you need to confront it.
You seem to be having separate social lives and while that can be good once a month but, it is also important to spend time as a couple, going out for a meal or even just a walk, where you can connect with eachother and make eachother feel important. I know its difficult with young children to find the time but, you need to make the time.
Take a deep breath and sit down and have a talk, make sure you listen too. You might hear some things that you would rather not know but, sometimes not knowing is worse because you imagine all kinds of things.
xx