Hi there
My girlfriend and I have been dating for just over three months now after being friends and liking each other for over a year.
The past few weeks have somehow just changed and turned over everything and we have no idea why everything is so hard for us. This is the longest relationship either of us have been in and I guess you could say the honeymoon period is over.
She has issues like work, college, applications to uni aswell as losing her friends and not being with them.
I have issues like my parents, work, uni and some severe depression problems in the past.
In the past few weeks we havent been able to see each other as much as we'd like after an incident which involved me having to save a mans life on the street.
I call her everynight, I don't know if it's too much or not enough and we both used to look forward to it, but in the last week she asked me not to call her everyday and I agreed. She was becoming pretty distant and she wanted some space.
She called me after a day because she couldn't handle not talking to me for so long but things are still so hard to get through.
I'm trying so hard to make things work between us, and so is she and we both love each other but it's just so confusing and ridiculous. We don't know what to do.
She thinks she's ruining this relationship and it's breaking her heart and it breaks mine to see her like that. I'd do anything to make things work again.
I'm sorry if this is all stupid and rambling, but I couldn't find any other way to put it and I'm just looking for someone somewhere to help me find and answer to save this.
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Anonymous on 17 November 2008 at 3:27pm said...
After the first few weeks of my really intense relationship my bf really cooled off and I had no idea why, I accused his of seeig someone else! Actually he had found a lump and suspected the worst... I guess everyone has those blips, especially early on in the relationship.
Anyway, my bf used that time for us to move slower, which was v wise becuase we'd become very invoved too quickly. We got back on track in time, and it has all worked for the best so far (2 years on!)
Maybe you both need to move a little slower just for a bit? I found this on the site - relevant to you two? http://thecoupleconnection.net/articles/59
Anonymous on 31 December 2008 at 6:09pm said...
hi i suppose everyone has cold feet tell her you love her maybe she is doubting there some ppl just need to hear it sit down and talk
Anonymous on 17 April 2009 at 7:54pm said...
i have been with my fella for 10 months. so hard living apart. i want commitment and he is afraid. we both deeply hurting right now. there are 2 children involved also and we dont want to break their hearts. Love is definately there...so i dont see where the issues are really. All we both know is that we are hurting and miss eachother terribly. All this heartache just because he is afraid of commitment. He needs to let me go then really. I cant be in half a relationship. :(
Anonymous on 01 May 2009 at 10:42pm said...
I'm in the same situation, my boyfriend said he needed space after I asked him about the future, he just went quiet and went back to his house, now living apart. So hard and I am so hurt about the whole thing.
zzzzi on 09 July 2009 at 2:30pm said...
I have been with this guy for almost ten months. We got to the stage where we spend loads of together. until recently we have drifted. He even knows we have drifted. We both work in IT but he works shift. However why is it when a woman asks a man for a commitment or his thoughts on the future in what direction we should be heading in the future. They run a million miles. My situation is a tough one when like every other woman who cares and is in love. He said he wants us to have some space and if we can we will try patching things up. If not I should expect the end of our relationship.
How can I make him see we can make this work in a positive way when he says he loves me also and cares?
anonymous010809 on 24 September 2009 at 4:46pm said...
hey there... wow. i'm so glad that someone else is in this situation and it's a comfort just to know that. my boyfriend and i have been together for almost two months which i realise isn't very long but i know that we love each other. he cried all day when we said goodbye and now i feel lost and confused and i don't know what to do with myself because all i can think about is how much i love him and how long it'll be before i see him again. but i hope this helps... i'm trying to be mature about this and so i'm just thinking of all the great times that we have had together and remembering the good stuff. try not to think about what will happen in the future and just take each day as it comes. keep smiling (or trying to) cos i know it's hard but things will work out :)