Hello - I am a middle aged woman and have just met the man of my dreams (we both are widowed about 5 years ago). I am ready to move on and not waste time since we have been together for 2 years now. The problem is he is tied to looking after his deceased ex-partner's elderly mother and her pets. I undertsand that up to a point (I like his caring nature!) but it really ties us down and we sometimes only see each other at weekends or if during the week he has to leave aerly to let the animals out. Am I being unreasonable? He doesn't seem to be able to commit to anyone as I know he never lived with his previous partner even though they were together for about 20 years? It is him or me? How can I get him to move on??? I love him so much.
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Anonymous on 08 November 2008 at 10:47am said...
The phrase "you can't teach an old dog new tricks" comes to mind. The truth is that by the time we are in our mid-thirties onwards we are pretty set in life - it's very hard to change. If this guy didn't live with his last partner for 20 years why do you think he will live with you? (if that's what you are looking for?)
I don't think you are being unreasonable but I do think you need to realise this man is extremely unlikely to change his habits and behaviour. The bottom line is do you think the +ves in this relationship outway the -ves for you? Take a sheet of paper and make the two lists for yourself. If you are happy to compromise on his "faults" then all the best for you both. If not then, as you say, maybe it's time to move on??
Anonymous on 13 January 2009 at 12:19pm said...
I've decided to reissue this so I can get more advice - things still haven't changed and I'm getting frsutrated! Sometimes I don't get out of bed until mid-morning and don't want to be feeling like this at my stage in life. I want to move on and would like him to move on to!
Anonymous on 13 January 2009 at 3:16pm said...
Sounds like you've made your decision - have you told him??