Could be too late by now but still I really want to get to the bottom of it. We met two years ago. She was obsessively in love with me from the start, my affection was developing along a steadier upward curve. We both have daughters from previous relationships, she has a 9-year old, I have a 9-year old too (same class!) plus an older daughter, now 17. All this time same mini-scenario has been repeating itself again and again. She becomes restless, abrasive, sometimes abusive when my younger daughter is with me, especially during those fortnightly weekend visits. On such occasions, my g/f is only visibly satisfied if I openly ignore my daughter and give her, my g/f, all my attention instead. Incriminations of ignoring her in favour of my daughter(s) triggered by smallest, sometimes ridiculous things. Calls I make to my daughters, their photos, texting less than every hour when the junior is with me... The latest, she mistook a Radio 4 program for me listening to my daughter's audiobooks, interpreted as the evidence of me missing my daughter, followed by a scathing attack. This is actually a more general sindrome, the same kind of trouble has been in the past associated with my work (I used to take half days off on regular basis to spend more time with her, to no effect, I am still "ignoring" her in favour of my work, or "look for other women", - both utter fiction), with my daughter's mum (I am actually allergic to the woman, this is why we are not together in the first place, but still "evidence" of me being secretly "in love" or "under influence" of the said person are sought out and found), etc etc etc ad nauseum. Without a shade of bragging or fibbing, I am a faithful and caring man, so it paines me to hear her accusing me of not making her feel important enough. But the situation with daughters, especially with the younger one is the killer, I can not bear it anymore. Naturally I ask myself if I indeed not giving her what a good woman deserves, or this is just classic jealous paranoia stemming from emotional insecurity, multiplied by her Mediterranean temper (my friends, before I asked them to stop it nicknamed her "Tornado"). More importantly, what do I do with all this? Am ready to pull the plug even though I know I will miss her charming side a lot. Can anyone comment on this situation? Similar experiences? Outcomes? Many thanks. Sparx.
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Anonymous on 27 February 2009 at 2:20pm said...
she sounds like a nightmare!