My daughter died last year, on christmas day, and after my husband walking out on the family home 6 months ago (due to the fact my late daughter was severley disabled) I was just starting to form a relationship with another man. I was just wondering if ANYONE has been through this and had any advice on how much or little to lean on my new partner for support when it comes to grieving the loss of my child? He has known us for years, but we have only recently got in touch again and as this is the beginning of a relationship which isn't full of the joys of spring, how can I try not to let it seep in and ruin any chances I have with a person whom I respect and am falling in love with? It seems like a very trivial thing to be worrying about when I have the fact that I am never going to see my child again to come to terms with, but I feel that if I lose my new partner, it will make everything a lot less easy to deal with, as just being with him calms me without having to trawl through the horrors of the last 2 months. Please, some advice!
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Justapuppy on 23 February 2009 at 4:33pm said...
What a difficult time you've had! All my thoughts are with you.
Personally, I would say it's better to share some of your pain with him, but bear in mind he's got his own emotional difficulties too. Would you think about seeing a counsellor to help you get over this?
There's also this article you could look at, http://thecoupleconnection.net/articles/50
Best wishes
x
Anonymous on 23 February 2009 at 6:52pm said...
Thank you. Yes, counselling is a must when I actually start grieving. It hasn't hit me yet and am waiting for the right time to embark on it. You are right, I do have to think about him too. SO much to think about my head hurts!
Anonymous on 04 April 2009 at 10:46pm said...
i lost a son 10 yrs ago now. not long after i started a relationship with someone new. my advice is to ask him if he wil support you in this emotional time. some men hate it some men don't mind and i would be sad if you leaned on him as support wise and he resented it. it is difficult but if he loves you that much then i give you me best wishes.