any advice wud help...brokenhearted n feelin like a fool
im 21 years old n have been wiv my partner since i woz 16 we r engaged n have a 3 yr old. things were brilliant in the begining but ova time he has slowly fallen out of love with me he wudnt notice that i wasnt here until our child needed sumfin.
i have given up my friends coz he dont approve of them...ANY of them, i have given up work n a promotion i have strived 2 get 4 2 years coz he decided, after not wanting 2 work 4 the 1st 3 yrs we were 2geva,he wanted a job. i bend ova backwards to make him happy doin all housework on my own lookin afta our child on my own, but nuffin seems gud enuf.
he recently decided 2 inform me that he doesn't love me, but tells me he does 2 keep the peace, he sed n i quote 'ur mildly attractive coz u have an alrite body but ur lacking in the boobs n SEVERLY lackin in the face n no1 else wud eva want u', he only proposed 2 me coz he thought it wud 'shut me up' he made me swear on our daughters life that i wud neva moan at him bout anyfin or he'd leave. i worship the ground he walks on n wud give up anyfin (exc my child) 2 make him happy.
i know no1 is perfect myself included but he wont accept thats its him aswel all i want is 4 him 2 love me like he used 2, im heartbroken strivin 2 fix a relationship that he seems so willin 2 let go i feel like a fool 4 wanting him 2 stay but i cant stand 2 c him leave...
any advice wud b greatly appreciated
thanx x
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Anonymous on 30 July 2010 at 11:28am said...
Sorry, why are you wanting this guy to stay? I know you were very young when you got together, but he has stopped you seeing your friends, stopped you having a career, says he doesn't love you, is abusive about your appearance and threatens that if you complain he will leave! I know you have a child but you could still make sure they have a relationship if he goes. You might want to offer to try relationship counselling (Relate or Marriage Care are good) with him to improve things, but if he refuses you might want to start putting yourself first, hope things improve for you.
Oneshoe on 01 August 2010 at 10:34pm said...
You need to put yourself first in this, he is no good.
It is going to hurt and you have to learn to live with the pain of a break up for a few months, but after that you will be 100 times happier.
This was your first live but you will find live again and it will be a lot better.
For now, go back to work, get involved with other things. Dump him and i guarantee he will be begging to get you back.
And when he does you will be in a better position to decide if you want him
CatCat86 on 02 August 2010 at 11:28am said...
maybe it's hard because you've been together for so long and now because of him you have no one else to turn to. You really don't deserve to be with someone who doesn't love you. So even though it's the hardest thing ever, I think you would be best to leave him and find someone who's worthy of you.