feeling very low!!!!
I dont know what to do im feeling really down about things. 9 months ago i split up from my on and off partner. we had rows about some girl he had met at work. He said they were just friends but i had never heard about her. He said she worked at the club he worked at but then she left to go abroad. He had swapped details with her but she never called when i was with him. She started calling him from abroad asking him to find her an apartment because she was coming over and he did but i knew nothing off it. He had mentioned he was doing it for a friend but i assumed it was a mate of his(a guy) Then he told me it was for her and a bunch of friends. Then when i asked when they coming he said she was coming end of the month but shes the only one that had brought her ticket out the group. I just thought here we go again he is at it again. I have always had problems with him and women in the past i have never found out hes cheated but he has swapped numbers and arranged to meet them behind my back so i thought this was just another one.
We argued for days after this because i thought she was coming alone to see him and i only got to find out she was coming because i called him whilst he was at the apartment he was checking out for her. I was due down that weekend but i didnt want to go because i was angry with him. He said i was being stupid but i just didnt trust him. He hadnt known her that long why call him of all the people to do it or why couldnt she do it herself?? On the fri he asked me to come down again and i said no. we argued and i shouted at him then he said he was gonna come down and " murder me" i got really upset about this he said it about three times then i hung up the phone he kept ringing me then my mum picked up the phone and he said the same to her about me.
I was scared because im used to him threatening me and coming down sometimes he will hide outside my house when we have argued or he will come down at 1 in the morning and sit outside my door. he would travel 100 miles to do this. He always does this when we argue he said he comes to confront me but he does it in weird ways and comes in hired cars rather than his own i dont get it. I went to the polcie and they put me in a hostle. they arrested him but let him off. ive since moved from my house (he doesnt know that) he didnt know i went to a hostle either. but still talk to him. He says that i tryed to fuck him up with the police but i was just scared at the time and my mum made me go and report it. He can be a really nice guy but the things he does and have done makes me angry. Now i have decided to change my number because its a waste of time talking to him because i know i cant go back my kids dont like him because they see him shouting at me for no reason at times. None of my family and friends like him either and say itsthe best thing ive done but i do see the good in him and im missing him and finding it hard to let go. He has been good to me too but he does things to upset me and it makes me angry at him. He can be really aggressive and wont see the things hes done.
He blames me for everything. The time before this he locked me in his room whilst the kids were in bed upstairs, turned of the big light and shined a lamp in my face asking me why i have no respect for him. iI finished with him after that but got back with him again after he sweet talked me. I know he sounds really bad but he is really nice to its like one min hes fine then he will just change but when hes nice i love being with him. I still love him He wants me to meet him for a drink but i cant do it this time. I cant get any councilling im on anti depressent because im having panick attacks and i feel low. after all this i just wish we could have been happy together and he would just be happy with me and stop looking at othr women. Now hes saying he knows he wont get with anyone like me again but if he feels that way then why keep doing this????
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Sinead (a member of the Talk It Out team) on 21 July 2010 at 9:19am said...
If all you write is true Susan, the decision to leave him is the only one you can make. You have clearly come to this conclusion yourself. However, for whatever reason you have allowed him to have some hold over you and you need help and support to carry through your decision to break off all contact with him. There are charities throughout the UK able to help you get out of what sounds like a very abusive relationship. Women's Aid is one of these charities You can get help from them or another local charity, by ringing the National Domestic Violence Helpline 0808 2000 247. This is a freephone and receives calls 24 hours a day. I would not delay in making this phone call Susan. You and your kids deserve a better life!