Should we get back together?
I'm so confused right now. I was with my (ex) boyfriend for 4 and 1/2 years, living together since 3 months after we met. We've never been particularly romantic, I hate public displays of affection and not that keen on intimacy because I worry too much about my body, but we've always been great friends and have such a laugh. For the past few months I've had a lot of work on with uni, exams, dissertation etc and we drifted apart. I was out all day every day, we had no money to have fun, and he worked long shifts 6 days a week. He decided that he didn't want to be with me anymore (the night before one of my final exams) but maintained all along that he still loved me and wanted to be friends. He refused to answer when I asked 'but you're not IN love with me?' and we slept in separate rooms but stayed living together. It's been so hard but I didn't want him to move out because the dogs would suffer if he wasn't here. Well it's been over a month now, and I've spent every day willing myself to love him and need him a little less and finally feel like I'm over him and ready to have a little fun and concentrate on doing another degree. He met a new girl and brought her to our house about a week after we split but even then maintains he couldn't bring himself to sleep with her and says he never wants another relationship.
2 days ago however I was crying (overwhelmed with work, bills, graduation etc) and he said he will support me financially while I'm at uni. I said I don't want him to and I want him to move on and get a new gf but he is adamant he wants to. and then came the revelation that he wants to be with me. Had he said it 2 weeks ago I would have taken him back and worked things out but after working so hard to get over him now I'm confused if I am in love with him! I'm angry with him for making me do badly in my exams, for hurting me, for walking all over my heart and then when he decides he wants to be together after all he doesn't discuss it, just tries to kiss me. I don't know if I might actually hate him now more than love him. I'm just so confused. I want to tell him how much he ruined my life (temporarily) but I know it will just upset him and not help.
Has anyone else ever been in a similar situation? Does anyone have any advice? I just don't know what to do. I was ready to fend for myself, and now it's all gone up in smoke! If we split because of the stress of uni, what will happen next year when I'm working long hours as a student midwife and sitting exams and working? Am I better off on my own?
Thanks
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Anonymous on 12 July 2010 at 6:50am said...
Dear Anonymous,
No wonder you feel confused - it's so hard to decide what to do for the best. There's another post similar to your's which has attracted a response which might be helpful to you. It's on 'Deciding whether we have a future or not......' Have a look and see what you think. All the best.