jealousy
hi i'm newto this site and have been with my partner for 12 years now, and well since the beggining of the releationship i have had a jealous nature and even now still togther after all these years my jealousy has got worse and out of control. My parnter is very friendly especially with females and flirts alot which i just cant handle, ive noticed lately things that he didnt use to care about but now he does and it makes me suspect his cheating or is it just my jealousy making me see things.
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Ebony on 13 June 2010 at 10:40pm said...
Your partner sounds like someone who enjoys flirting. Many people do because it's a confidence boost when others find us attractive. That doesn't mean flirting automatically leads to something more intimate. Your jealousy may stem from experiences with your partner or be totally unrelated although it is increasingly affecting your relationship.
If you were aware at the start of your relationship that your partner took flirty further than friendly banter this may have fuelled your jealousy. You need to look at why your jealousy is out of control and consider getting professional help, eg from a counsellor, to help you work through your feelings and identify triggers for your behaviour.
On the other hand, if your jealousy isn't related to his previous behaviour your behaviour could be driving you apart. When someone is repeatedly accused of something they haven't done they can give in to temptation as they are already marked as guilty.
The change in your partner's behaviour indicates that he may be making a general effort to improve his appearance but could also be an early sign that he is open to cheating if he hasn't already been unfaithful. You could go on the offensive and make an extra effort with your appearance and approach to draw his attention back to you, as he may simply miss the experience of feeling special with you.
If he doesn't notice or react to your extra effort it may already be too late.