Im a 16 year old step dad looking for advice/guidance on a relationship thats falling apart. She is 17 and are daughter is 9 months old. We have been going out now for about 8 months and things were going very well until christmas.
This is when she started to lie to me, She gets phone calls off some boy and tells me they are from girly mate down the road, But when i looked in her call list it was from some boy. She has lied to me on a couple more occasions after christmas but they are not really important. Now i maybe getting the wrong idea but i dont think shes cheating on me, but why would she lie to me in the first place? She wants me to trust her but how can i give her trust and freedom if she lies to me?
I want to try and sort things out but i dont know how, I want some advice.
If u want anymore info i will post!
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littlemissy on 20 January 2009 at 5:34pm said...
You must be finding this really tough, raising a new baby, in a fairly new relationship, and feeling like you can't trust your girlfriend. Do you live together too? If so that's an awful lot of pressure on a new relationship, when you're 16. Is this your first serious relationship?
The best advice is to ask her trying not to accuse her too much - after all she has chosen to be with you. If she didn't want to be, she wouldn't be! Trust and freedom is really important in a relationship and is why people come back for more - because it makes them happy.
Good luck to all three of you x
Anonymous on 21 January 2009 at 1:02pm said...
Thanks for your advice its been really helpful. I dont live with her but i do stay there as much as i can to help out. Its just tearing my heart out as shes my first proper love and i dont want to lose her.
Anonymous on 09 February 2009 at 4:14pm said...
Hi, I hope it works out for you, it's a lot to take on being a step parent at your age and I really admire you. If you don't think she's cheating maybe just try to trust her unless she lies in a serious way. Maybe as your relationship is becoming long term she is just testing you a bit to see if you are really in it for the long haul. good luck x
KyeKye on 22 April 2009 at 2:06pm said...
I know how you feel because I have had the same thing from my gf .. I do trust her and I know she wouldn't do anything it's just sometimes her behaviour is different from what she says and what I believe. Perhaps she thought she would avoid any conflict and tell you it was a girl friend so that you wouldn't get upset. It may just be a guy she is friends with and it's not worth the arguement. I tell myself this stuff everyday and although it doesn't make the lies ok, it does allow you to see why she might be doing it. As littlemisshoneybunny said she is with YOU .. and that's her choice .. so take a leap of faith and trust her 100%, then if and when she does something wrong you can think about what your next move is. Good luck !
Anonymous on 31 May 2009 at 1:45am said...
i have been suffring from deprashon for the last year over a lot of thing the one that tops it of my dauter 10 years old was abused by a man that was niver cot this has got me to the pont that i was drinking to much then i startd to lie to my gf where i was after work i was drinking.then i stoped talking to hir .i am geting help now but where do i start i am now not with my ex living by myself i want hir back so much i talked to hir today and she sayed that the trust has gone i cant live with out hir pleas tell me how can i get the trust back pleas help us put or life back on track
Anonymous on 31 May 2009 at 7:05am said...
Don't give up. Right now I bet she's thinking your just going to hit the road, and never look back. What she WANTS to see is a man. A man who will fight for what he wants, and she wants to feel wanted, and beautiful. Send her flowers, send her a hand-written letter. Tell her she hdoesn't have to trust you right away, but you would atleast like a second chance. And most of all, believe in yourself that you can get her back.
Anonymous on 31 May 2009 at 11:05am said...
thank you. this is going to be hard i will find the my way i have to try to pick myself up the good thing is am not drinking any more and my wee girl is safe with hir mum i have a job am the sun is out thats the way i need to think i will fight for my gf i will do as u say i will save this page and lt you no how things are .i hope things are good with you thank you agen .my name is adyan good luck