Both my husband and myself work long hours. We are fortunate enough to be able to work from home sometimes but we work a lot and when at home we do not sit together: we have both our desks in different rooms of the house (both rooms are too small to cope with another desk).
We have a young child which means that we cannot really leave the house in the evenings, even if we wanted to go out and do something different. And, when at home, it's difficult to switch off from work.
It is hard to find time to be together. Any ideas of what we could do?
Please Log in or Sign up to add your comment. You will still be able to remain anonymous if you wish.
Anonymous on 05 September 2008 at 4:57pm said...
Hi. It is a really hard one, and as you are both very used to the current pattern of working very hard, it is probably difficult to switch off. Would it be possible to mark out one specific night every week or fortnight and make sure that you do something together on that evening? It means that you know ahead of time that you need to keep it free for each other and whether you go out or get a babysitter in for a special treat, it is just time for just the two of you. When my husband and I make time like this (we also find we can't get out much due to lack of funds for babysitters!),we make it a point not to just veg in front of the tv but to have a glass of wine and have a long chat over dinner, or play a card game, or sometimes head up to bed early for a massage and whatever next! For me, it is about having the time together to talk about life, how I am feeling and just know that we are there for each other - having a closeness whether it's airing my thoughts or having a cuddle. This doesn't automatically happen if you don't intentionally make time for it. And even though I suggest away, we do find it difficult to be so intentional with our time. I think it is worth the effort though and your post has made me realise that we need more of it ourselves.
Hope you manage to work something out.
bambi on 08 September 2008 at 10:39am said...
Booking the time does seem a way of going about it and I will try to convince by other half to give it a go. What I was wondering when reading the suggestion was "does the planning aspect of it takes away the pleasure that is derived from the spontaneous moments?". Will it become another "thing" to worry about, another event on our calendars?