I shouldn't snoop, I know it! I have snooped in the past and found nothing, I have also snooped and found that my husband (who has always claimed to be different to other men) is looking at porn on the Internet and lots of it. We have been married 11 years and I adore him. He claims to adore me, usually I believe that.
A bit of history, all our arguments are about sex. He likes lots of it. After the first time I found porn I made a real effort to improve our sex life. I dress up, I suprise him, I watch porn with him. I felt confident things were good. Then I found he was texting sex lines and looking at contacts magazines. Again I made more effort adding dirty texts to my reportoire. I find all of this uncomfortable it does not come easy to me. I again thought things had improved. When I was feeling low after the birth of our third child I suspected he was flirting with another woman. It hit me hard, I was awful and my husband was lovely. Cancelling a work trip with her and taking me away instead. Things have been good for a long while. Recently, because I was bored I think, I snooped his facebook account and found he'd commented on a girl he didn't knows picture "love the picture, foxy" she replied "do I know you" and as far as I'm aware that was it. I didn't mention this because we were getting on so well. 8 weeks later I snooped his laptop, he's signed up to adult contacts online. He'd forgotten to delete a few that were to a foreign woman. "I love the picture can you send me more. If there's anything you need maybe I can help you. Love B" He knows Ive found it but I've not said anything yet.
What does everyone think, is he looking for an affair or just bored. Should I keep quiet and ignore it. Help !!!
Please Log in or Sign up to add your comment. You will still be able to remain anonymous if you wish.
Anonymous on 05 March 2010 at 11:48am said...
It's very normal for men to look at porn but the important thing is how you feel about that - the chances are your husband doesn't see it as infidelity, but if you do, or if you just need reassurance that he still fancies and loves you, you have to talk to him about it. Contacting other women is stepping it up a level, you may feel very threatened by this and again need to talk to him. There is probably a compromise over the porn that you could both be happy with, for example as you say watching it together, but if you need him to stop contacting other women, that wouldn't be unreasonable! If he is bored it is up to him as well as you to come up with ways to make things more interesting and exciting, it does sound like you have been doing all the work up to now! Good luck, hope you can sort this out.