love/hate...such a fine line
I dont know what to do and I am sick of unsuccessful relatonships...
I feel like I must be doing something wrong as I always end up feeling this way. I am engaged to my partner and have been together over 2 years.
We started out having loads in common, the best sex I'd ever known and were deeply in love, we were pathetically cute together and all our friends wanted a relationship like ours. Now I can barely stand him. We moved in together with 3 months of dating but this jan he had to move away for work. I was so relieved to get some space without having to end things, but now he comes home at weekends and we argue - mostly about money but we also never have sex anymore, not that i care- which i should! I dont feel the need to cuddle him or anything but we are running a company together so we still have a close work bond and for the most part we agree on work stuff. He's recently suspected me of cheating on him, which I have not and he doesn't trust me with money even though I gave him all my tips from work last week just so he had a bit of cash to go back to work with while I'm trapped at home cos I dont have a penny. I feel like my sacrifices are never enough and are totally ignored by him, I'm furious that he doesn't trust me when I've done nothing wrong and that makes me doubt him - does he have a guilty conscience or something?
I'm worried that I'm not in love with him anymore, i do love him but in the right way? I'm very depressed at the moment and am worried that any major decision will be the wrong one and that i'm not in the right frame of mind to do anthing drastic but he makes me so very angry that I want to trash my flat just to let the fury out. I also feel like I never want to see him again but I know that will fade.
Is this just a fiery relationship or do you think, dear reader, that we are in real trouble? I really just dont know and I feel very very alone.
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Anonymous on 21 February 2010 at 10:08am said...
Just read what you've written - you're relieved when he's away, you argue whenever you see each other, you don't have or want sex, you don't trust each other and you feel taken for granted. It doesn't look as if this relationship has anything for you and yet you say you love him. Are you sure it's love or are you just afraid of being alone?
You say you're depressed - might it be an idea to talk to your GP? And you also sound worried that you have had a pattern of unsuccessful relationships, so there might be something going on for you that affects them. Your GP might be able to refer you for counselling, which might help you understand this better.