My Partner and I have been together for 5 years... Hes 39 and I`m 36.... Of late things have gone down hill on both sides... First sex evapoated and I discovered i was HIV positive (3 years ago)... then the arguments started about the usual.. I wasn`t giving him any attention... Money issues... ( He won`t keep a job down , leaving me with all the finantial strain of keeping us both...Then theres his drinkng problem he drinks all the time when he gets any money in his pocket... this is when the abuse started... Nothing physical... Just the Verbal... I`ve felt confused for a long time... I love this man so dearly but i know we can`t go on like this anymore...no matter what i do to try and correct our relationship nothing seems to work... I`ve got him help got him and work only for him to fall off the wagon a few weeks down the track...World War 3 breaks out our fights usually consist of point scoring against one another... We share a rented flat together and neither one of us has the money to move and neither one of us is prepeared to let the other have the home we have created together.... We`ve started down the road of solititors being involved and the anamosity is becoming unbareable... Were striking out at each other trying to hurt other over stupid things and games... I don`t want all of this... I want to stop before one of us really gets physicalIy hurt... just don`t know how to either end it once and for all and get away... or find someway back fro the edge for both of us... Deep down hes a good man whos just as lost in the relationship as i am... but we can`t go on... i know that...
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Jenny (a member of the Talk It Out team) on 10 February 2010 at 4:38pm said...
Dear Anonymous, What a difficult situation for you both. The first thing you need to do is take some steps to ensure that you keep yourself safe physically; do you have any friends who could put you up for a night or two if things started to get too scary between to two of you? Secondly, the Terence Higgins Trust website has a wealth of resources for you, including a new telephone helpline. Google their website and have a look at what they can offer. If your friend has a drink problem, unfortunately he's likely to get worse before he gets better and acknowledges that he needs help. Only he can decide upon the right time for this. Best wishes, and look after yourself - you're worth it!