My wife and I have a realy good relationship, but I find the share of housework is not equal. She looks after the kids (3 and 6) and does loads of washing which I know is demanding, however, she does seem to be less keen to clean the house especially the bathrooms, which as you can imagine are well used by our two children. So I do this essential cleaning but it's difficult when I'm out 7-7, and I find it really embarrassing if people turn up at our house unexpectedly. I don't mean to be pushy, but really would like her to do more cleaning of these essential areas - Am I being a pig, should we get a cleaner, or should I try to encourage her to spend 10 minutes on this a week - and if so how without getting into an argument?
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Anonymous on 02 September 2008 at 9:35pm said...
Its hard work looking after kids and washing is she also doing cooking, shopping, gardening, ironing, changing beds, etc or do you do these jobs?
If its only 10 Mins a week do it your self, personally I think it takes longer, if so GET A CLEANER.
Justapuppy on 04 September 2008 at 5:54pm said...
Hi, I think you need to be careful approaching your partner with this. She may feel you don't value the contribution she's making to the family. If you are able to get a cleaner for a couple of times a week it might help to ease the burden - she'll feel that you understand how busy she is, and you'll get the clean home you crave! If you decide you can't afford a cleaner, I'd be careful not to say '10minutes a week', cleaning essential areas can take a considerable amount of time - on a weekly basis my partner and I (together) put in about 2 hours each. Whilst we have no children, it's worth noting we've only got a one bedroom flat! That doesn't include the cooking (me) and the washing up (my partner) and the washing and ironing (me, at least 2 hours each week!)
In the end it's about being fair to each other, and respecting and acknowledging how much you both do. Cleaners are great if you can!
bambi on 05 September 2008 at 11:55am said...
The work women do, or better said, the work housewifes / househusbands, do around the house whilst taking care of the kids is sooooooooo underestimated...
For the partner who comes back home from work and plays with the kids for a bit or takes them out during the weekend to the cinema or the park or whatever, being with them seems fun. However, someone taking care of the kids every day, getting them ready to school, keeping them busy and happy, whilst also preparing the family meals, doing the laundry, do the weekly shopping, cleaning the house, ironing, it is hard work. And the worst part is that, it is not only exhausting, but it can also take some of the pleasure of being with the kids away from that partner.
So, even if it was 10 minutes (which is definitely not!), that would be too much to ask from someone who is already tired, most probably fed up of all the other things, and who would probably be happy with a 10 minute retreat to her bedroom.