I ended a 10 year relationship about 18 months ago. The reasons aren't really relevent. At the final stages of that relationship i began what turned out to be a short but intense fling with another. I left the long term relationship to be with that other (foolishly perhaps, but I was confused at the time) although it didn't work out and lasted but a matter of weeks.
I sought a reconciliation with the first party about four months after leaving but all doors appeared to be closed so I started to rebuild my life and move on. I met someone else about 9 months ago and we are building a good and healthy relationship.
My original partner however, contacts me regularly to talk about our relationship and what went wrong. She seems to be finding it very difficult to move on. I indulge these conversations because i care about her and i do feel guilty about the hurt i caused her when i left in the first place. I sense recently that she would now be willing to consider a reconciliation but as i said i am now in a new relationship and that is going very well. Perhaps i should have given myself more time to settle in a new life before starting a relationship, but that is not my way.
I loved my original partner greatly and it is hard to turn my back on her, or to hurt her more by doing that, but her attempts to instigate regular conversations with me are beginning to affect my new relationship. I do hanker after what we lost - our relationship was very special once (I suppose most are) but i do believe in my heart that it would be very difficult to go back. The issues between us were very serious (and of course i had the aforementioned fling to make thing worse). Everyone says that 'there is no going back' anywat, but the life i used to have with this person was wonderful at one stage. Can the damage be repaired or should I let things go once and foreall and concentrate on my new life.
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Anonymous on 30 January 2010 at 7:27pm said...
It seems you are confused between your relationship with your present girlfriend and your ex. You are ensure whether you should commit yourself to either. Commitment is an important part in any relationship. It is only fair to let them know where you stand. It seems that some heart searching is necessary, the longer you wait the harder it wiil get. Best of luck.