My husband and I have always been very close, had a good friendship always telling me he loves me and been affectionate, and good sex. Now he is distant says things changed between us when we had our 2nd child. My focus did change as I had 2 very young children to look after, a husband who worked away, we had recently moved and I was terribly 'homesick' for my old stomping ground. Everytime my husband came home I was in tears telling him how much I hated being in our new place. Evenutally I settled down and became much happier but it seems it had been a little too late..................as I think I have worn my lovely, loving husband down and he now doesn't know if he wants to stay in the marriage or go. He says he loves me but its different, he says he can't think of anyone else in the world to be the mother of his children, that kind of hurt as I can't think of anyone else in the world that I want to be with other than him. We have talked it out and he has agreed to try and make it work as what we have had is too good to give up and deserves a chance. He can't be affectionate with me as he says it is forced and that he resents forcing himself to do that. We have huge money worries and I'm wondering if his feelings for me are clouded by his worries about money. He says he wants things back the way they were before we had children. I think we can get that back but he needs to make the effort.I can't sleep at night and I've lost a stone in weight, which is great but not the right way to do it!
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littlemissy on 21 January 2010 at 8:56pm said...
Hi Anonymous,
I think you guys have slowly drifted into this really sad relationship, and I'm so sorry to hear it's going so badly for you right now.
I'm not sure if you're based in the UK, but if so, could you think about seeing the organisation Marriage Care? They do relationship counselling which is paid for by donation, so if you're hard up at the moment it would be ok. Maybe as a start you could try the exercises in Work it Out of this website?
It sounds to me like with some work you two can really make it work. If it drifts it may not change, but you definitely have the chance of happiness together if you're both motivated.
Good luck, and warm wishes,
x
Mavis on 22 January 2010 at 7:37am said...
Thank you for your encouragment. I will check out what you've suggested. I think I just need to be patient with him right now but its hard when he is away, we don't get a lot of time together but I don't want to give up.
xx