Ok, I met my partner online, through a dating site, a year ago. We're in our mid 40's.
Since then we've got engaged, moved in together and plan to get married next year.
We have 3 kids between us, she's got 1, I've got 2, all our young adult age, only her son lives with us.
My problem..... is trust, she constantly checks up on me, my phone, my emails, my texts, I know it's a lack of trust brought on by previous relationships and a lack of self confidence, but she wont admit that.
Since we stared seeing each other, I have deleted all of my dating site profiles, having been single for a few years, there was a few!!!
It got to the point where I truly believed it was her seeing someone else, she keeps deleting her text messages sent and received, as the age old thought " if they are accussing you, they must be doing it themselves" kept nagging me.
I checked her facebook news feed on IE, it had a constant flow of "Dating" type information from a facebook dating application. I left it a few days, then asked her, she denied it and we checked her facebook account together so she could prove it. I believed her and left it at that.
Now, she constantly checks mine, even when I get spam emails from social networking sites, she accusses me of being on them.
Tried talking, explaining and promising her I have no intention or want, to see anyone else, I just dont know how to gain her trust, even though I havent broken it in the first place!!
Please Log in or Sign up to add your comment. You will still be able to remain anonymous if you wish.
mzcarrot on 07 December 2009 at 2:48pm said...
To be honest if she is finding trust so hard you really need to ask the question is marriage a good idea at this stage. it may be a little hasty if shes still having problems with trusting you. im not sure but it might be worth talking to her and asking if the marriage is too soon for her and how she feels about things with you. Then come round to the trust thing i dont know if this will help ive had similar probs with my relartionship except my partner was cheating on me, i also met him online we've been together 3 yrs now and have a child but its been a very rocky ride. marriage should really done when you are both ready and it sounds like you may not be even though you love each other : )
DaveAngel on 07 December 2009 at 7:10pm said...
Hey buddy,
This email is for your future wife too...(copy-word doc-print)
GIVE EACH OTHER YOUR PASSWORDS!!!!! Noone is allowed to delete histories, txts or calls without permission (say- once a month)! Phone accounts on the table!
Saying it is paranoid to do this is childish....What have u got to hide???? Nothing to hide, nothing to worry!!! Welcome to marriage!!!
I wouldnt be surprised if u little online hotties arnt still a little addicted to the rush!!! Break a few hearts, a little fantasy, a little flirting...u know the score...
Be truthful... its fun talking to a whole bunch of people who are stimulating, fall for u and crave your every ,line and email.
I would suggest u try dateaholics anonymous... lol...
No seriously- channelling time! Into each other....
You want a new challenge? Channel those fantasies creatively and passionately into your marriage!!!
Do it for the divorce rate- buck the trend....
Idea!!! Maybe u could both channel your energies into couplesconnection like me!!!!!
(I think I am giving too much away here ...lol....)
daveangel.
DaveAngel on 07 December 2009 at 8:06pm said...
"trust, why cant she?"
Is the name . It is about 5 down...