Hey Everybody im new here,
I REALLY need advice. Im with my boyfriend almost 2years. I love him dearly and care for him so much. We got off to an amazing start, but like all couples weve had our ups and downs too..
It all started a few months ago. After a month in he left me because he was confused, but we got back together straight away when i ignored his texts and calls because i was so angry and we worked it out in no time.Things were great but, Ive never felt good enough in any way for him, although i know thats stupid of me to be thinkin like taht i couldnt help it i always though his ex's were much better and that id never be as good to him as they were. He used to always reasure me but id still panic and try leave but hed be supportive to how i was feeling and make me talk it over. We had the odds fights here and there nothing serious at all. then before our summer trip to Spain we broke up, we still went though and had an amazing time. When we got back we had a bust up and it led to us breaking up but still meeting up the whole time, although unknowens to me he was seeing somebody for about 3weeks but told me they only met up about four times. This hurt very much and i ended up in hospital. When i got out of hospital he was quiet angry and when we talked about getting back together he acted the victim and he didnt know what he wanted etc etc. He kept staying with me and leaving over the past few months only for days at a time or so, but eventually i took his crap no more and again ignored his calls and texts and he came running. Things were going fantastically up untill about 2days before xmas day and he was seen by mates holding another girls hand outside the niteclubs. He explained she was jsut a mate and i DO trust him but it wasnt nice to hear plus she was a friend he kept from me as i once accused him stupidly of cheating well i didnt exactly accuse him i asked did he. So anyway..I ignored him for a few hours to calm down and think straight but he was mad at me then. Then he went car hunting with the same girl a day later and wouldnt come see me to discuss our relationship and i was deeply hurt by this. This girl is a friend of his sisters boyfriend which is all good, im not pushed about him having girl mates i just wanted him to be honest and open he said he wasnt because of me askin if he had cheaded before. I trust him but i DONT trust many other people he cant expect me to trust somebody i dont know!! He seems to think if i tust him its enough but after him being with the other girl in the past i brought back bad memories. At the monment hes saying he doesnt know whether to stay with me or not due to the fact i asked him had he cheated on me with his 'new' friend. He says he trusts me but doesnt see how im hurt over his actions, all i want to do is move on from this and be happy again.. I DO see a future for us because we do have amazing times together alot of the time although we do fight too. I just want to forget the bad things over 2008 and move on to happier times with him for 2009 i know we can do it, but i hate the fact hes saying he dont know if he'l stay, is there anything i can do to help him make up his mind to stay..He says he wants to stay but not because i want him to to give me my own way, which i found very hurtful, but i dont hold long grudges i let o of bad times easy once there talked about properly and no lose ends are left im more then happy to move forward with the relationship. I hope to move in with him this year as i feel it would be better for the relationship as usually we would argue only when we dont spend time together. How can i get us back on track, he says he wants to stay but at the same time he says he dont know..im EXTREMELY lost..PLEASE HELP!:(
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Anonymous on 31 December 2008 at 8:12am said...
sounds like he's as lost as you and doesnt know if he can fully commit to your relationship, all you can do is keeping talking about things and whether there is a future together if there is then he needs to be very open with you and you need to accept what he says is the truth, unless you find out otherwise then i would finish it. he has got to prove he is trust worthy and you'll only trust him over time, you have both got to make a determined effort if you want to stay together.
Good luck hope it works out for you
Anonymous on 02 January 2009 at 10:53am said...
I think that life is too short to stay around with someone that isnt giving u the respect u deserve an the relationship that u are after. He's had his time to prove himself and clearly can't be bothered and only cares bout his needs. After a while u have to think of your self as he clearly isnt and that basicly says it all, ive recently taken my own advice and feeling happy again and not dragged down.
Life is no dress re-hurssal...
Good Luck
Anonymous on 03 January 2009 at 1:23pm said...
[I posted this] A friend later rang me to say he was cheatin, then she confronted him and there was a HUGE bust up, i didnt say much i wasa too upset. . . turned out he hadnt cheated, him and the 'S**T' in question are only mates, she went to hit me as i was leaving!! he hasnt made contact at all, although that nite he came out at 3am or so after hours of me crying. . . and didnt even come in he sat in his car for a few mins then left!!:[ im pure hurt by all this, but i want my B/F back real bad. . . Im not goin to beg him back ive been good and havent made any contact with him!! but is there anyting i can do to get him back, i know we can make our way through this. . . his family members think hes just havin chill ouy time. . . but i REALLY dunno!!! im deeply depressed and have become ill due to my stress and worry so my doctor said. . . will i ever get him back. . . please somebody help me!!! :,(
Anonymous on 05 January 2009 at 10:44am said...
[Me Again] Things have gotten worse. . . hes with the girl in question. . .epople keep telling me he'l come back. . .but i dunno. . . i dont think i cant take much more. . .
HELP ME PLEASe! :'[
loobyloo on 05 January 2009 at 2:14pm said...
I think for your own self esteem and respect you need to move on from this relationship. If he was going to come back to you he wouldnt have got with the girl in question and lets face it she tried to hit you and he never contacted you to see if you were ok.
As for his family saying hes just having "chill out time" what the heck does that mean?
Relationships end and this one has ended badly for you but please before you make yourself really ill do the right thing, he's not worth your tears. Pick yourself up and dust yourself off and act like he did you a favour. You never know he might see what hes missing and want to come back, if that happens though you should think long and hard about whether hes worthy of you again.
I wish you all the luck and my heart goes out to you. xx