I have been with my partner for 4 years now and we have just moved into our first home together. Our relationship has always been abit rocky with its ups and downs and arguements as all healthy relationships do. I know that i am absolutely everything to my partner and that anything i asked would be done without questioning. I do love my partner, but i feel like i need something else? I love our home and i dont know if i want to sacrafice it over what could be just a bad spot in our lives? Im scared of being lonely but at the same time im not sure i want to be in this relationship anymore, and i dont want to continue this relationship making my partner think its all good when in fact i dont even want to be here? All my friends and family have noticed this change in me, even myself. I no longer want a physical relationship with my partner, not because he has done wnything wrong just because im not interested, even having a simple conversation can just irritate me with him and i have never been like that with anyone before. I feel like sometimes i am more like a personal cleaner, laundrette and chef sometimes, spending everyday cleaning up after my partner, leaving no time for me to just relax, which was what i enjoyed living at my dads before we got this house, i could just go and relax by myself anytime i liked.
If our relationship did end i would be sad, heartbroken in fact, however i think it would not be all bad. My partner could get on with life and perhaps find someone else, someone who would appreciate them, i could move back home and live quietly and do more socializing with my friends and meet more people. But is that what i want?
Please help me, i have been playing this all in my head for the last 4 months and cant make any sence of it. Please try to hrlp me.
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loobyloo on 30 December 2008 at 12:51pm said...
As with all relationships there has got to be give and take and to me it sounds like you are taking all the good from him but not appreciating the fact that you have to give back. I am not saying that you should be the only one to clean the house or do the cooking but part of life is growing up. Your partner isnt your dad and you shouldnt expect him to do all the fetching and carrying. You should tackle housework issues together, not one person should do all the work especially if both of you are working.
I think you do need to talk to your partner and tell him how you feel, the poor guy isnt a mind reader and maybe hes not happy either, hes got to have noticed the change in you too. But at the end of the day you only get one crack at life and you have to make the best of your life. Please dont let this fester for any longer, talk to him.
I wish you luck what ever you decide.
nic23 on 01 April 2009 at 9:43pm said...
I disagree somewhat in the last comment, it sounds to me as if you do alot for your partner, maybe too much in fact which after all this time is maybe making you feel a little resentful of him? I'm not slagging you off, I feel the same sometimes when i come home an the pots are still in the sink and hes left stuff everywhere! Thing is he probably doesn't realise this at all, try askin him in a nice way if he will help with things even if its just tidying up after himself. He's probably used to you doing things and doesn't even realise it bugs you. All I can suggest is talking, if you both know how each other feel, you can maybe relax a little more and start to enjoy each other again, I dont know, Im no expert but you can then say at least you tried.