Things have been fairly stressful lately – my mother is very ill with cancer and probably doesn’t have long left with us, and my husband is under considerable pressure at work with threatened redundancy looming over him. As a result we are arguing and shouting at each other – and what’s particularly upsetting for me is that this is often happening when our three children are around. They are still quite young – 3, 5 and 8 – and don’t really know what is happening but hear the shouting and are certainly picking up on the “atmosphere”. They’ve all started bedwetting (more stress with all the additional washing!) and are very clingy with me in the mornings on the school run. In the past I’ve always turned to my mum for advice but due to her illness obviously don’t want to worry her with all this in her last days. Does anyone know how I can break out of this?
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Anonymous on 27 August 2008 at 9:03pm said...
You could try having a family day out, which can be more stress but try to be as relaxed as possible. Just a picnic in a local park with a football, don't try to be out for to long. Then when everyone is more relaxed you could all try to talk about how you are feeling. Do your children know what is going on? Sometimes if they have misunderstood things then they don't know what to do with their feelings. They may also be feeling helpless and that they want to make you feel better. Sometimes we just all need a break.
Anonymous on 14 January 2009 at 11:44am said...
Keep the children informed about what's going on. You'll be surprised how understanding they can be. The reason they are clingy is because they know something's not quite right.
Also recognise that this is a stressful time and shouting and arguing (whilst not nice) is understandable and common. Agree to really try and not do it in front of the children though.