my fiancee and I have been together for over 3 years,, we are stil only young. im almost 19 and he's 21..
i have always been a jeolous and paranoid person,, and usually it's over nothing.. i'm very insecure and body conscious and honestly don't know what he sees in me.
but recently a new girl started at work with him and since then he seems 'different'. he works late only by an hour or so,, he never has any credit when i no he has just topped up. he goes out of his way to pick her up if she can't get to work..
i know all this together doesn't mean anything but i recently did some snooping on his laptop and found some emails, he had deleted them but they remained in his deleted bit on hotmail..
basically it was him and this girl chatting on facebook,, innocent really but she signed off with like a dozen kisses, called him 'hun' and 'babe' and also asked him if he would miss her (she was having the next day off work) .
Am i being paranoid and jealous over nothing or should i be worried?? i know i was wrong for snooping but i couldn't help it..
(this actually sounds so childish)
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secondtry on 18 September 2009 at 8:44pm said...
yeah 9 times out of 10 yes he is cheating and yes u do need to worry.. females these days have no shame.. And guys only think about one thing.. sorry talking from experience.. do show concern.
toni-jo on 20 September 2009 at 6:49am said...
but my showing concern and being jealous am i not just giving him reason to cheat??
we had a proper talk last night and now he is saying he doesn't want to marry me at this moment,,, he says he does want to marry me but not for a while ie a few years.. is this just him getting cold feet or is it all connected?? x
Paninaro on 20 September 2009 at 9:48am said...
I can speak from experience here,although its unfair to say men only think about one thing.I was in a relationship for 25 years and never cheated,never even thought about that,but hey you are entitled to your opinion.
I suffered from jealousy and know exactly how you are feeling,its a horrible nasty disease.What you say is not childish at all.It only needs that seed of doubt to be planted and it will grow vigourously.My wife would carry her phone everywhere,always on silent,go to the shops and come back hours later without shopping,take the lap top to her room on her own.I was told I imagined all this and I was the one at fault.All i can say is go with your gut feeling,it worked for me,I found her cheating and I walked.Remember though,its not the other persons actions that make you jealous,its what you imagine they are doing.When she said she was going to shops,she may well have been,but I saw that as meeting up with someone,I too thought at the time how ridiculous I was being,I know now,and hopefully I wont ever be like that again,but if i am,I consider myself to be cautious because I have had reason to be.I do hope you find peace in yourself,cos you are continually beating yourself up and you are the only one that can stop it.Take care..
toni-jo on 22 September 2009 at 7:16am said...
he lets me check his phone and ii have acess to all his internet accounts because he gave me the passwords just like he has mine..
the thing is when he came along he pulled me out of the gutter when everybody else walked past, he's the one person i could and can depend on.. he's the love of my life and i don't want to loose him. maybe i'm putting to much pressure on him to be perfect.. can people ever really get over being jealous and paranoid?? xx