Hi I'm 32, ive been seeing a man of 54 for around 2 months. I met him online, he's really genuine and I think I'm in love with him.
We slept together the last time we saw each other (around 3 weeks ago) and now he has decided he needs some space as he has been hurt badly in the past and wants to slow things down (his ex-wife ran off with someone else and left him with his 2 young kids, who are now 8 and 6, then he got with someone else who cheated on him with his next door neighbour).
A few days after he said that to me, he sent me a text saying he wasnt sure if he was ready for a relationship, now he is saying he doesn't know what he wants and doesnt expect me to wait around for him if i don't want to. I'm finding it hard to give him the space he's asked for, as I do love him and I think about him all the time.
Because we're both single parents, we both know we wont have a lot of time for each other and I've told him I'm fine with this. Because I also have been hurt in the past, I accused him of not being honest as he wrote something on the Facebook site which he later said was just a bit of harmless flirting and fun. I realise this now, have apologised to him and he has accepted my apology.
We didn't sleep together until the 4th time we saw each other as we both said we didn't want to rush anything.
He said he needs space which I am trying to give him (I haven't contacted him today) but do you think this will work out in time??
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Anonymous on 26 December 2008 at 9:39pm said...
Hiya Lou,
It's hard to know how to read this situation. Having met someone only four times it's not a very long time, but I'm sure ou would have been able to pick up up any signs that he was only into sex. That is a possibility though, that now he's had what he wanted he's less interested.
What might be more likely is that sleeping with you has brought up a lot of deeper feelings related to his previous relationships and difficult situations. It can take quite a long time to adjust to new realtionships. Give him time as he's requested, I wouldn't text him for about a week if you can cope, maybe you could send him a Happy New Year message next week and see how he responds?
Loads of luck
Em
Anonymous on 10 February 2009 at 10:15am said...
with only cin im 4 times it is hard to say but you cant help your feelings for but if hes could be cing other girls even though u might not want to listen too .
i would send im a card for valintines day and see hw he reacts and c if he gets one back but if you arnt already togehter i wish you luck hunni .
bois can be a nnoyin and think bowt 1 thing x x xx x x
maka on 18 July 2009 at 2:05am said...
I would actually just stay away and if he is interested in you he will be back. Four times is not enough to say you need space unless you have meet someone else or decided this is not worth it for you. Don't call him all the time it will make you look like you are crazy about him which may even push him away from you more.