weve been together three yrs.... and have been argueing quite a lot lately but usually we can just sort it out. but now hes decided tht he doesnt know whether we should stay togeher when i go to university. i need help. can anyoe advise
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Anonymous on 26 August 2008 at 2:24pm said...
A tough one - why are you arguing more? You might want to sit down together and have a heart-to-heart about what's going on?
Long distant relationships can be tricky - but I know of many couples who have made them work.
Anonymous on 27 August 2008 at 9:56am said...
If you are going to uni that's quite a big change in your life - maybe when he says he isn't sure you should stay together what he is really saying is he isn't sure that YOU will want to stay with him. Arguements can be a sign of being worried, so while you think what he's saying is a sign he isn't committed it might be the opposite. I agree a heart to heart is best but that can be tricky when you are into arguing.....you need to be straight and say what you feel instead of focusing on what you think he might be feeling.Two things on the site might help - I found the hidden issues insight and another insight on the circle of feeling, thoughts really useful.Good luck!
Anonymous on 27 August 2008 at 10:44pm said...
I notice you have written he's decided, Ask him has the decision already been made?, and if so when did he make this decision? or ask him is he sure about his desison and can you talk about it.
tell him that your scared but you want to hear what he has has to say and how he feels...give him reassureance that this is not a platform for you both to shame blame or put each other down but an opportunity to have an honest conversation.
If you agree to have the discussion agree some ground rule. think this out before you start....you each take it in turns to say how you feel; what your worries and concerns are;
look at the options.
If you both decide to work on your reationship how will you both get back on track. How can you bring the love and fun back into your relationship. how will you maintain your relationship. how will you resolve your conflict without getting in to arguements..
If you both or one of you decides to end the relationship What will you do to help in your recovery.
Life is a jouney It would be very dull if there were no challanges. Good luck Brenda
PeeJay on 28 August 2008 at 11:21am said...
To be honest I think that going to uni is a time to have fun and enjoy yourself. He might be doing you a favour!
Go uni and have fun!
Anonymous on 28 August 2008 at 10:57pm said...
Hey PeeJay - that's wot I was thinnking!
Anonymous on 29 August 2008 at 9:18pm said...
Sometimes when you have to face changes The stress triggers reactions ...........some expected some unexpected........you both might be feeling stressed, anxious and uncertain about your future together and apart...........relax, why don't you both say lets not make any big plans other than see what it is like good luck!
colormeash on 16 January 2009 at 1:48am said...
why does he not like the idea of university?
Anonymous on 08 April 2009 at 3:14am said...
Your in the same situation as me, show him that if you wanna b wid him, and show him you want it 2 work, try and talk it thought wid him and say you dont wanna argue no more. and if you do get back wid him dont argue so much.. i dunno what you arguing about but try not 2 get jealous unless hes donig somthing wrong.. try not 2 b 2 flirty wid other guys... if you do get in a argument try to sort it out that day even if you need some time to think but try and talk about it...
Hope i helpedd
Anonymous on 29 April 2009 at 8:30pm said...
My gf is at uni, we keep in touch over msn and phone and when we really miss eachother, we plan a trip. Works well. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
He might just think your going to go off with someone else behind his back. But when you love someone with all your heart that don't happen. Trust is everything.
Best thing is to have a chat with him and get everything out in open, and iron out the doubts and worrys ;)
Good luck.