The initial romantic stage of our relationship will always be important – it’s part of our story as a couple. Remembering and valuing this first sense of connection and closeness can help you to create a strong bond for the future. We are more supportive and affectionate when we feel positive about each other so we have to make an effort to keep recognising each other’s good points.
To Feel Closer
Exercise The Early Days
On first getting together our feelings of closeness can be intense. Being together, doing things together is all we want. The initial euphoria of romantic love seems to keep the other person’s faults and imperfections hidden for a while. When inevitably our differences start to emerge andStart Exercise
things aren’t quite as we’d expected it can be troubling. And, as those intense feelings lessen it can feel as though the strong sense of connection has been lost.
This doesn’t mean the end of all romance and passion! But it does mean moving on to a new stage in the relationship. And moving on to the next stage is important if we are to continue strengthening our relationship.
Though it doesn’t last, the initial romantic stage will always be important – it’s part of
your story as a couple. Remembering and valuing this first sense of connection and closeness can help you create a strong bond for the future. The focus of this exercise is on the way things were at the beginning - and how a good story about then can help make things more positive now.
Exercise Building Intimacy
Having a satisfying sexual relationship can be an important part of being intimate withStart Exercise
your partner. When we first get together the excitement of a new sexual relationship can be overwhelming, passionate and spontaneous. But as time passes and life gets busy, with children, work and family commitments our sexual life can suffer and intimacy can wane. This can be upsetting and can mean you feel less close to your partner. But this doesn’t mean you can’t rebuild things! The initial stage of a relationship doesn't last forever but with time you can have a hugely satisfying intimate relationship as you will know one another well and understand each other’s likes and dislikes. This exercise will help you to understand what you both like.
Exercise Personal Qualities
Giving each other support and affection increases your sense of connection. We are more supportive and affectionate when we feel positive about each other, so we have to make the effort to keep a strong focus on each other’s good points. When we’re upset or angry with our partner it’s natural to dwell on their negative characteristics.Start Exercise
It could be that we’re not even upset with them, just upset with ourselves, so our negative frame of mind spills out onto how we think about them. Focusing on the negative rather than the positive can become a habit that gradually chips away at your love and respect for each other.
By reminding ourselves of our partner’s positive qualities we can prevent a happy relationship from going downhill. Having a fundamentally positive view of our partner is a powerful buffer when the not-so-good times hit. The positive thoughts, feelings and behaviours can balance out the negative and keep a relationship strong and happy.