Could you have a "friend with benefits"?

A recent poll suggests more and more women are choosing not to settle down in a relationship but have a “friend with benefits” – a male friend who they sleep with, without commitment. A third of the 2,168 women surveyed  in the poll by MyCelebrityFashion.co.uk said they had a “friend with benefits”, with over half saying the reason was because they didn’t want a serious relationship. This raises the debate – can no-strings sex with a friend work? Or will it result in hurt feelings and a broken friendship?

Many people believe women and men are different in that men can separate sex from love, whereas women are  more likely to fall for their sexual partners. Yet only 8% of the women who confessed to having a “friend with benefits” said they did so because they hoped the sex would turn into something more serious. This suggests that the trend of no-strings sex with friends is rising, especially after the recent film releases, Friends with Benefits and No Strings Attached.

But there can be negative outcomes with this type of “relationship”. Any person, male or female, needs to remember that sex will change a friendship – this level of intimacy can often confuse feelings and spark jealousy. Sex doesn’t necessarily mean affection and closeness, so some “friends with benefits” may end up feeling lonely and used.

It is very important that “friends with benefits” set their terms and conditions properly before any sex happens. This prevents misunderstandings and jealousy, as both parties  have agreed exactly what they want. But feelings can change over time, so it’s important to understand where you stand at all times. If one person feels they may be falling for their sex buddy, it may be best to end it if the feeling isn’t mutual.

Tips if you are considering having a “friend with benefits”

• Ask yourself if this is really what you want, or if it is because there is nothing else on offer.
• Consider how important your friend is to you before sleeping with them, as it may be very difficult to maintain a friendship with them after the sex is over.
• Communicate your needs clearly – if your feelings change and you want more than sex, let your FWB know and end things before you get hurt. Remember, you can’t force them to develop feelings for you.

Could you have a “friend with benefits”? Do you think women can separate sex from love as well as men? Or do you think feelings will always get in the way?