Can you ‘catch’ stress from your partner or work colleagues?

Stress is now the top cause for British workers to go on long-term sick leave, ahead of cancer and and a heart attack. Now a new study by Professor Elaine Hatfield shows that you can ‘catch’ people’s anxiety, depression and stress. From the workplace to your partner, second hand stress can spread quickly as people’s negative feelings are picked up by those around them.

As humans, we soak up the emotions of others around us, from their body language to their tone of voice. According to the study, women are more likely to pick up stress as they are more sensitive to other people’s feelings. As well as absorbing feelings, we can also sub-consciously mimic stressed body language, by hunching our shoulders or frowning.

This means second hand stress is widespread in the workplace, with tensions often running high due to higher redundancies and heavier workloads. Spending all day in an office with a continually moany and agitated colleague is enough to make you dread work yourself.

You can also ‘catch’ stress from your partner. If they are tense and agitated, this can have an effect on you and make you more likely to dwell on your own troubles more than you normally would. This second hand stress means partners find it hard to relax and argue more, and long-term stress can lead to greater problems like depression and relationship breakdown.

So what can you do when your partner, friend or colleague is making you feel stressed and exhausted?

• Take a mental step back, breathe and try to separate their stress from your feelings. Acknowledge their stress, but try not to absorb it.

• Take a mini break from the person who is stressing you by leaving them to make a cup of tea, look out of the window, or take a short walk (preferably in the fresh air).

• Don’t be dragged into the office culture where appearing stressed means you are working hard. Walk away from your moaning colleagues or say something positive about the situation.

• If your partner is stressed, firstly listen to what they have to say to show that you are supporting them. Comfort your partner before trying to help them with their problems, because they may just be seeking stress relief rather than a problem solving session. Simply holding and cuddling them is a good way to provide relief.

• Try to point out the positives of the situation and remind them you are trying to help. Bring the topic of conversation back to something more light-hearted and personal, e.g., plan something exciting to do at the weekend or talk about a fun time you recently had.

• Don’t get wound up or shout at your partner if they are stressed. The calmer you are, the more they will see they need to relax.

• If you do feel yourself ‘catching’ stress from your partner, do something comforting by yourself such as taking a bath, reading a book or listening to relaxing music. This will clear your head and allow you to support your partner better.

Do you think stress is ‘catching’? Have you found yourself exhausted by your partner or colleague’s stress? Or do you find it easy to keep your own feelings separate?