Pregnancy and Finance
Going from a couple to a family may be one of the biggest changes you and your partner ever experience.
It may be one of the most exciting times of your lives. Or possibly the scariest. Suddenly there are new and important decisions to make.
- How will you manage your finances?
- What about your working lives?
- How will the new addition affect your relationship?
The answers may involve difficult conversations. Even compromises. But once you’ve dealt with these issues, you can get on with enjoying family life.
Obviously most new mums will stop work for a while. But when does a mum go back? And will there be enough money in the pot to fund a break and cover child-care expenses? What will the baby cost you, and where might you have to cut back? And don’t forget there’s the question of how will you both feel about these changes. You may find yourself:
- Happy
- Resentful
- Excited
- Jealous
Or maybe a mixture of all of these.
At times when emotions are running high we don’t always find it easy to make rational money decisions, which is why you should plan ahead. Then build in some time to review your decisions and check their impact. Remembering all the time the importance of working together as a team, negotiating and agreeing your priorities.
Many couples notice how the power in their relationship shifts once maternity leave begins. This may be the first time you’ve ever been aware of what the other is earning or spending. No wonder many couples find feelings of resentment creeping up on them. One person may feel they’re being judged; that they’ve lost their financial independence. All of a sudden there’s a feeling of not having your ‘own’ money any more. And not working means the loss of that label, the job title with which you may have identified yourself. Manager one minute, Mum the next. It’s not surprising some take time to come to terms with the shift.
Once your baby arrives, so does that huge sense of responsibility that comes with being a parent. Suddenly you’re both in charge of another tiny, precious life, and that’s going to be the case for the next couple of decades. No wonder the responsibility feels so huge.
So there are adjustments to be made all round. And just while you’re grappling with these, others may pitch in with their advice. In-laws and relatives may decide they know what’s best for you (in a well-intentioned way). Know when to tune out, but keep in mind that it can be useful to accept advice too.
Shops will be bursting with a mind-boggling array of baby equipment, all of it seeming essential. Athough you’ll know half of it isn’t.
The trouble is, which half?
This is when other parents can come to your rescue. They can tell you the baby products that they couldn’t live without. As well as those that are gathering dust in the corner. Other parents may also be willing to loan or sell on used baby equipment. This isn’t the time to be overly proud or insist on designer stuff. Much better to have a peaceful atmosphere and money in the bank, than a sparkly dream of a nursery that’s the source of arguments and an overdraft.
Of course, your new baby will be the centre of your lives. Yet he (or she) will be much more contented if you, the parents, are happy.
Whatever choices you make, preparation and communication are vital.
In this series of articles, we explore some of the changes for new and expecting parents. We’ll also give you practical advice as well as some tips and exercises to help you get started. Check them out below:
Activity 1: Check out what benefits you're entitled to
Activity 2: Work out a spending plan together
Activity 3: Discuss where you can save money
Activity 4: What happens if ends don't meet?
Activity 5: Protect your family's future
Exercise 2: Setting up a joint account
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