How to talk to your partner about money
How we feel about money is crucial to how we talk about it, spend it and why it causes so many arguments between couples. Money and relationship issues are inextricably linked and research shows that its money arguments that are often the hardest to manage.
In these tough times how to manage money better is high on most people's worry list.
So this month on thecoupleconnection.net we have teamed up with Financial Coach and author Simonne Gnessen to bring you some helpful insights and tips.
1. Choose the right time and place. Find a regular time and place to talk about money where you know you won’t be interrupted.
2. Agree the ground rules to make sure you both stay cool, e.g.
• No interruptions while the other person is talking.
• Definitely no blaming the other person.
• Explain things calmly, leaving emotions aside.
• Start and finish by saying at least one positive thing about the
other, especially if you know there are sensitivities.
3. Be a team! Make a pact that you’ll work together to sort out your finances. This means each of you must have equal information about the financial situation and be equally committed.
4. Get organised. Have a system for storing your paperwork and both use it. Keep a household budget (or spending plan) and review it together regularly.
5. Look at what money is masking. Money problems can be a symptom of something deeper. Face up to this and talk about how you can start to improve things. And keep strictly to the subject.
© Sheconomics 2010. www.sheconomics.com
Sheconomics is published by Headline
About the author
Simonne Gnessen is founder of Wise Monkey Financial Coaching, a unique style of coaching service designed to provide practical guidance and support on any money issue, while also helping people build long-lasting skills to transform their relationship with money.
Simonne is co-author of Sheconomics with Professor Karen Pine, providing practical tips and solutions to women’s money problems and demystifying the complex emotional relationships they have with their finances.
Simonne has worked in financial services for nearly 20 years, including 10 years as an independent financial adviser. Feeling constrained by the traditional model of financial advice, in 2002 she broke new ground by designing a completely different type of service – one that focuses on empowering people in money matters without selling any financial product.
As a certified life coach and Master NLP practitioner, Simonne uses a unique blend of skills, knowledge and experience to equip her clients with the tools they need to take better control of their money and responsibility for their financial future. She provides expert guidance and support on the practical and technical aspects of any money issue, as well as helping clients to recognise and totally transform the emotional relationship they have with money.
She currently lives and works in Brighton.
Simonne’s work has been featured on BBC radio and TV and in national newspapers and women’s magazines.