Getting on better with your partner - How to improve your relationship
How well do you know your partner?
For most couples there are parts of their relationship that work really well and other parts that don't. When couples have been together a while they tend to settle into roles and ways of doing things. Some of this is comforting and creates a unique bond, but other assumed roles can cause day to day irritations and niggles that over time can become deeper resentments.
This month on the CoupleConnection we have a lighthearted quiz that could help highlight areas of your relationship where you might want to make some changes.
Identifying ‘what’ we regularly bicker about, whether it be spending habits, chores, family interference, work stress or just feeling like you don’t ever have your partners full attention, can be quite illuminating. This quiz could also help you to see yourself as your partner sees you and provide the first step to making small changes that can make a big difference in how you get on.
Try answering the following questions individually then see how your answers compare.
- What are the three things your partner most loves about you?
- What are the three things that wind your partner up most?
- Does your partner waste money? If so on what?
- Does your partner worry about money – if so what troubles them most?
- What’s your partners biggest extravagance?
- What do you think your partner would like your life together to be like five years from now?
- Does your partner enjoy their job?
- What do they like about their job most/least?
- Whose job takes priority?
- Who does which chores around the house? Why is this?
- What matters most to your partner about homelife?
- Who is the tidiest?
- What does your partner like most about your appearance?
- Which item of your clothing do they most dislike/like?
- Is your partner a flirt?
- Who does your partner have a secret crush on?
- What's your partner's sexual fantasy?
- If your partner had an affair would it end the relationship?
- What is your partner's attitude to facebook, texting – are they always ‘messaging’?
- What’s your partner's attitude to family and friends?
- What’s your partners most annoying habit?
- What do you argue about most?
- Who takes the lead on big decisions?
- What helps you relax?
- What makes you feel loved?
Some small steps towards change
When you have answered all these questions have a good hard look at how your answers compare. Can you see what areas worry your partner, where they may feel insecure, or taken for granted? A good place to start might be thinking about how to discuss changing some of these issues – then you can move on to talking about the issues themselves.
If you have identified that money worries or spending habits are a cause of tension take a look at some of the advice on money arguments on the CoupleConnection.
How about answers around work issues? If you find most rows happens at the end of a working day perhaps you can support each other more with work stress?
Household chores: Are you pulling your weight? Honestly? Could it be time for a shake up?
Are you surprised by some of the answers about sex and attraction? Our articles on sex and intimacy could help you think more about how to address this.
Is Facebook or the iPhone the third party in your relationship? How about switching them off every off every so often?
And what have you learnt about what’s good in your relationship? How can you find ways to do more of this?