Affairs and jealousy - The green eyed monster
Most of us will experience feelings of jealousy in our relationship from time to time.
Some times we can laugh them off; other times they might cause us anxiety.
Mild feelings of jealousy can be a good thing - they often remind us not to take our partner for granted - but when jealousy becomes extreme or obsessive it can ruin a relationship.
But where does jealousy stem from? Often it's linked to something in your past which has left you with a sense of insecurity. If you're insecure about your relationship and very dependent on your partner then you're likely to be jealous; it's often worth exploring where your feelings of insecurity might come from and talking honestly to your partner about them.
There are as many reasons why people have affairs but usually an affair is a sign that something needs to change.
Affairs aren’t always about sex - but they are always about a breach of trust between you and your partner. Trust is essential in any relationship, and it's something we often take for granted, so finding out your partner has had an affair is not only very upsetting, it's often a huge shock.
If you're the one who has had an affair then you'll need to work hard at reassuring your partner they can trust you again. If it's your partner who has had the affair you may feel insecure and jealous for a long time.
But as time passes and trust is restored you'll find yourself feeling more secure and confident about your relationship. No one can tell you how long it will take or how to rebuild your relationship, or even if you should try and work it out. At first it may feel that your relationship is over, but many relationships do survive affairs and end up being stronger over time.
An affair will nearly always bring about a change in a relationship - but it doesn't always spell the end.