Affairs and jealousy
When we decide we want to improve our relationship we’ll begin by identifying the area of our relationship that isn’t working well or the issue that seems to cause trouble between us and our partner.
Exploring these areas and issues - what’s going on in our relationship - is the first stage in the helping process.
But if we want things to change we need to move to the next stage of the process - to get a clearer understanding of what’s really going on. The relationship insights are designed to help you do this.
At One Plus One we have over 30 years experience of studying couple and family relationships - finding out from ordinary men and women why relationships matter to them, how their relationships work, why they sometimes go wrong, and how they coped when they did.
In starting to explore aspects of your relationship you have checked out the issue of affairs and jealousy.
Being faithful is for most couples the main symbol of commitment in their relationship and therefore an affair is a serious threat to a relationship
Through our work at One Plus One we have created - the relationship insights - these will help you to understand more about why the issue of affairs and jealousy is concerning you at this time and how you might improve things.
The Relationship Insights will help you to understand:
- How you can help yourself – what’s involved - the helping process
- How the protective factors make your relationship work and what they are - the sliding scale of happiness
- How relationships develop over time, the stages they go through and how to spot vulnerable times – changes and stages of relationships
- How the hidden issues in our relationship are the key to understanding what’s really going on – hidden issues
- How to find the balance between “me”, “you” and “us”, the secret of the happy compromise – journey to shared goals
- How to anticipate the not-so-good times and keep connected as a couple – the roller coaster of change
- How your feelings thoughts and behaviour are linked; by changing the way we think about our partner and our relationship, can change how we feel and how we behave – circle of thoughts, feelings and behaviours
- How for fathers especially, a lack of satisfaction with their relationship affects their involvement with their children – vicious cycle
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Anonymous on 14 May 2010 at 12:01pm said...
My partner of eleven years gave me an sti. He denied having intercourse with anyone else(obviously) we have been living apart for two years now due to other circumstances outside of relationship but always keep in contact. Why doesn't he just totally end our relationship as we only talk on the phone and rarely ever see eachother. I don't know why I can't stop thinking about him. Really I should have dumped him ages ago, but My feelings for him are too strong. What should I do?
Lucy (a member of the Talk It Out team) on 14 May 2010 at 3:56pm said...
Dear louiseanne - you've posted this as a comment so you may not get many replies. Please can you resend as a new post so others will have the opportunity to reply.
Regarding your situation - maybe it's time to talk frankly with your partner about where this relationship is going and find out his true feelings. You can then choose to find ways of improving the relationship (use the articles on this website to help) or alternatively to seperate which would leave you free to find love elsewhere. Hope you find a way forward.